When I tell
people that I took a gap year the general
response is “Wow! That’s so cool! I wish I could have done that.” I find this
intriguing because when I initially announced that
I was taking a year off after high school... the reaction was quite different.
In the United
States it is generally discouraged to take any time off from anything, ever.
The go-go-go mentality that Americans are known for is so deeply rooted in our
psyches that it makes it difficult to rationalize any sort of sabbatical.
Despite the fact that I strongly disagree with this mindset on principle alone,
the society that I grew up in actually made me feel guilty for acknowledging
when I needed a break- and doing something about it.
(Petra, Jordan)
Let me stop here
and clarify that my parents were extremely supportive of this decision, and
were instrumental in making it happen. Even before my mom married my stepdad in
2010, and we all started going to Jordan on a regular basis, she was a huge
proponent of travel and desired nothing more than for me and my sister to grow
up cultured and accepting citizens of the world. Being a single mother who was
working full time, international travel was never really a possibility. Her
rather ingenious solution to this problem was to have a constant flow of exchange
students who lived with us anywhere from two weeks to a full year.
Although I
didn’t realize it at the time, this early exposure to other cultures undeniably
contributed to my current fascination with them (Woo! Anthropology!).
(The Citadel- Amman, Jordan)
For the vast
majority of my senior year of high school my intent was to go to a university
in my home state of Washington and pursue a dual degree in vocal performance
and music education. I had been studying music for ten years and it seemed like
the logical next step. I was good at it, I received a lot of compliments on my
abilities, and to me that was enough. I had actually sent in a $500 fee
confirming my enrollment in said university just weeks prior to the meltdown.
It was around
the middle of March and with graduation just a mere two months away, my
friends and classmates started to get impatient to finish high school and go off to their respective universities. For some reason, I found myself unable to
partake in this excitement. After weeks of introspective thought pertaining to why this was (and because I have a
tendency to over-think and over-analyze everything) I came to the conclusion
that I just didn’t love music anymore- at least not enough to dedicate four to
eight years of my life getting the necessary degree.
(Dead Sea)
I’m very
fortunate that my mom is a rational person and respects my decisions without
much question. That being said, when I approached her with the idea of taking a
year off I had already thought the idea fully through and had valid reasons to
back up my request. It would mean losing the deposit fee, and having to go
through the application process all over again, but $500 costs a lot less than
an unwanted and unused degree.
The most common
concern I heard from family and friends was that I would enjoy the time off too
much and not go back to school. Which was reasonable. But when it comes to
planning out your own life, or a gap year in this situation, it’s important to
know your own limits and what you can handle. I knew that going to university
was important to me- I just needed to find the right one.
My mom was
already planning on moving to Amman, Jordan to live with my stepdad (they had
been doing long-distance MARRIAGE for two years) so it was fairly simple for me
to tag along with her. I had a boyfriend back in Washington at the time and
spent most of my first long-term stint in Jordan Skyping at odd hours and
missing him. I didn’t meet any new people, was extremely homesick, and spent
most of my time alone in my room. I ended up coming home early and spent Thanksgiving
and Christmas back in Washington.
(Photo shoot in our backyard in Amman- taken by my aunt Natalia!)
Come January I
began to get antsy again. My hometown, Puyallup (pyoo-ALL-up) is ridiculously boring, especially since
I wasn’t working or taking classes and all my friends were off at school. But a
year earlier we had an Australian exchange student, Tiarni, who stayed with us and became one of my dearest friends. She, and her family, had been asking me to
come down to Australia for quite a while. Just for fun, I began researching round trip tickets from Seattle to Sydney. One day a ridiculously cheap ticket
popped up, that I knew wouldn’t last long, but it left in less than a month. I
bought it, figuring I could plan out the details later.
(Sydney, Australia)
My time spent in
Australia remains one of the happiest times of my life. I was very stressed out
as a teenager and the laidback, fun-loving, slightly vulgar Aussie attitude
definitely changed my perspective on life a bit. I played with kangaroos,
koalas, and learned how to surf- all the required activities during a visit to
the land down under, but I gained more valuable experiences as well. I had my
first drink, learned how to plan an entire trip on my own, and discovered the
hospitality-based website, Couchsurfing.
(Venus Bay, Victoria, Australia)
After returning
from Australia I began to miss Jordan again, and all my family there. I really wanted
to go back and give it a second shot but my mom and stepdad were hesitant, and understandably so, since I had such a rough time back in September. But after a few
weeks of begging, they obliged, and I was headed back to the Middle East.
(Wilson's Promontory, Vistoria, Australia)
When I look back
on those later months in Jordan it’s almost as if I were in an entirely
different country. I chose to learn from my mistakes the first time and make a
more substantial effort to enjoy myself. Instead of being constantly in my
room, I was rarely there! I went out with friends about four or five times a
week and smoked way more shisha than I’d care to admit. When in Amman, right?
It’s amazing how as soon as I changed my attitude, I started meeting all these
incredibly interesting, intelligent, and kind people left and right. I had
never felt more accepted and loved in my life and still cherish those
friendships more than I can possibly convey. If you’re reading, you know who
you are, and thank you.
(Melbourne, Australia)
I think you all
know the story from there. I spent my summer in Central America and then
somehow wound up on this crazy place we like to call the East Coast. To be
completely honest, my first year in Boston hasn’t been everything I expected it
to be. Parts of it were downright terrible.
But then others
weren’t.
I suppose it’s
easier to notice now, since I’m leaving in two weeks, that I’m excited to
return here next fall. I didn’t think I would be. No matter how many times
people tell you to give it time, that things will get better, sometimes you
just have to figure it out for yourself. But as long as you do figure it out, that’s
all that really matters.
~Kaelin
~Kaelin
No comments:
Post a Comment